I’m in the process of entirely rethinking/redesigning the blog. More to come soon and thank you for your patience. In the meantime, here a few things I’ve been mulling over:
As my dear brother says,hot water and lemon is the key to health! I used to suggest this to him all the time and now he’s asking me if I’ve had my hot water and lemon yet today and he’s right, I haven’t. Hot water and lemon, Lexi. Hot water and lemon, he says.
If you do not like your yoga tape or your real life yoga instructor, get a new yoga instructor. I do not like Baron Baptiste and so I am leaving him. I leaving him for someone named Seane Corn, who is very intense, but very good. She doesn’t say things like “fasten your spiritual seat belt” or “don’t try hard; try easy.” For this I am grateful.
In order to begin taking yourself seriously as a writer, you must first find yourself interesting.
Entrepreneurship/the entrepreneurial spirit sticks with you and is contagious. It isn’t about being the owner of something; it’s about creativity, shifting ideas into action and then letting them go. It’s also about attaching monetary value to creativity, which isn’t a bad thing.
Twitter is not awful. I have written about it here (should you feel so inclined to read).
There aren’t enough queer romantic comedies or dramas. Thoughtful films about queer love that first and foremost are love stories rather than stories about queerness. Too often the story is about the fact that the two individuals happen to be of the same sex rather than the love and connection between these two individuals. For this reason, I have decided I will attempt to write lesbian romantic comedies at some point that have as little as possible to do with the lesbian-ness of the connection. Because while the queerness of the connection is not unimportant, it is not the most meaningful aspect of the relationship. Along the same lines, I recently discovered a comedian named Liz Feldman who said this about gay marriage: “Personally, I am very excited about ‘gay marriage,’ or as I like to call it, ‘marriage.’ Because I had lunch this afternoon. I didn’t have ‘gay lunch.’ And I parked my car. I didn’t ‘gay park’ it. Ha!
If you’re going to do something, do it big. Last week I went to a conference called “Women & Power: Connecting Across the Generations” at the Omega Institute. Gloria Steinem emphasized this during her talk. Listening to her speak, I thought of how many times I have been too small in my life. Gone for things certainly, tried for them, but been too small, too cautious. Cautious is good, but one can be cautious and still think big.
And now a recipe for mulled cider because it is fall and I like the word mull.
1. Using a vegetable peeler, peel the zest from the orange to create long strips.
2. In a medium pot, bring the cider, honey, allspice, cloves, nutmeg, ginger, and orange zest to a simmer. Do not boil. Heat, uncovered, for 30 minutes.
3. Ladle into cups and serve warm with the cinnamon sticks.
“A plan is like the scaffolding around a building. When you’re putting up the exterior shell, the scaffolding is vital. But once the shell is in place and you start work on the interior, the scaffolding disappears. That’s how I think of planning. It has to be sufficiently thoughtful and solid to get the work up and standing straight, but it cannot take over as you toil away on the interior guts of a piece. Transforming your ideas rarely goes according to plan.
This, to me, is the most interesting paradox of creativity: In order to be habitually creative, you have to know how to prepare to be creative, but good planning alone won’t make your efforts successful; it’s only after you let go of your plans that you can breathe life into your efforts…
Over the years I’ve learned a thing or two–entirely the hard way–about the pitfalls of locking yourself into a predetermined course…
There’s an emotional lie to overplanning; it creates a security blanket that lets you assume you have things under control, that you are further along than you really are, that you’re home free when you haven’t even walked out the door yet…
To embrace luck, you have to enhance your tolerance for ambiguity.”
“I think that in our history some Americans have been kept out of positions of power and wealth and influence by discrimination and that that tends to be a self-perpetuating thing. Restricting the best jobs, the best schools, the best incomes, the best opportunities to a single group tends to set that group up to continue to prosper disproportionately. Historic discrimination doesn’t undo itself; it has to be overtly interrupted by affirmatively helping some people from previously excluded groups into positions where they have the opportunity to succeed so we as a country don’t end up sealing in place forever a white supremacist society created by and defined by segregation and Jim Crow and slavery. Current discrimination has to be stopped now and the ongoing effects of massive structural past discrimination have to be overtly overturned as well. That’s my position. Pat [Buchanan] sees it differently. He describes affirmative action as overt discrimination against white males full stop.”
“As long as we are able to
be extravagant we will be
hugely and damply
extravagant. Then we will drop
foil by foil to the ground. This
is our unalterable task, and we do it
joyfully.”
And they went on. “Listen,
the heart-shackles are not, as you think,
death, illness, pain,
unrequited hope, not loneliness, but
Take the used-up heart like a pebble
and throw it far out.
Soon there is nothing left.
Soon the last ripple exhausts itself
in the weeds.
Returning home, slice carrots, onions, celery.
Glaze them in oil before adding
the lentils, water, and herbs.
Then the roasted chestnuts, a little pepper, the salt.
Finish with goat cheese and parsley. Eat.
You may do this, I tell you, it is permitted.
Begin again the story of your life.
Oh, I’m standing in the corner
Thinking all I want to
What am I to do
Should I go home still sober
Should I buy me another glass of wine
And forget about time
Though my jeans are too tight
Don’t feel like dancing
And all this light is too bright
Don’t feel like shining
Though this room is too small
I’d rather stand against the wall
And hope that no one sees me
And everybody’s dancing
I don’t want to
And everybody’s toying
I don’t want to
And everybody’s laughing
I don’t want to
Everybody but me
And everybody’s drinking
I don’t want to
And everybody’s using
I don’t need more
And everybody’s floating
I don’t want to
Everybody but me, yeah
I get the creeps from all the people in here
I cannot breathe, it’s too crowded in here
Don’t look at me, I don’t wanna be seen
Touched, heard, bothered
By the fellas who got a look in their eye
They wanna take me home
Without knowing my name
They wanna put me on
But do they not know is
That I’m not like the others
And everybody’s dancing
I don’t want to
And everybody’s toying
I don’t want to
And everybody’s laughing
I don’t want to
Everybody but me
And everybody’s drinking
I don’t want to
And everybody’s using
I don’t need more
And everybody’s floating
I don’t want to
Everybody but me
And everybody’s dancing
I don’t want to
And everybody’s toying
I don’t want to
And everybody’s laughing
I don’t want to
Everybody but me
And everybody’s drinking
I don’t want to
And everybody’s using
I don’t need more
And everybody’s floating
I don’t want to
Everybody but me
And everybody’s dancing
I don’t want to
And everybody’s toying
I don’t want to
And everybody’s laughing
I don’t want more
Everybody but me
And everybody’s drinking
I don’t want to
And everybody’s using
I don’t need more
And everybody’s floating
I don’t want to
Everybody but me, yeah
Much of life is about undoing ways of thinking that don’t serve us, that don’t ring true, but somewhere along the line we picked up and had reinforced.
An old revelation, but something I keep returning to.
While playing tennis the other night, out of nowhere it occurred to me that one’s 20s – apart from having a lot to do with establishing a solid career and meaningful relationships – is also a time when we can enjoy the relief of at least knowing pretty much who we are. Yes, building a “successful” career, whatever this even means, is tough work. Yes, finding a significant other we’re crazy about who is also truly a good match for us is tough work. But in addition to these challenges and others, we at least get to finally relax a little about trying to become the person we want to be. For the most part, we know who we are. We’ve been around a while now. We’re no longer 18 or 20 or 23 even. We’ve been around over a quarter of a century and remarkably, we’ve figured some things out about ourselves despite all the setbacks and lingering big questions. We are forever learning and growing and becoming who we are (and sure, maybe the self doesn’t exist anyway), and still we know some things to be true. However big or small, this gives me some comfort.
For example, I don’t do well in high temperatures. I am good with words much of the time. I think jasmine tea is one of the loveliest things in the world. Few things sadden me more than when someone thinks feminism has anything to do with hating men. I need a good night’s sleep to be able to function. I am an athlete at heart. I am more moody than most people know. I believe being part of a creative community we feel connected to and supported by brings out the best in us. I prefer milk chocolate to dark chocolate. A part of me will always want to live a much slower-paced life than I have thus far, which may or may not mean moving away from a city. I do not like advertisements. I do like good design. I love raspberries and peaches and kiwis, will always choose darker woods over lighter woods, and consider poetry a kind of prayer.
